5 Ways to Deal With Difficult People In Your Workplace

Is there someone in your workplace who frustrates you so much you just want to scream?  Someone who constantly rubs you up the wrong way?

We usually can’t choose the people we work with, so we think it’s just our bad luck we’ve ended up working with a difficult person.  But surprise, surprise, we change our work place and find yet again, another difficult person to deal with. The reality is, we can’t avoid the know-it-all, the aggressive person, the procrastinator, someone closed to new ideas, or people we define as difficult, they are everywhere. So how do we handle that difficult person at work?

1. Don’t take it personally

Their behaviour is about them it’s not about you.  Keep it professional. You are both employed to do a job, try to keep your focus on the work or the tasks you have to share and not on the person you are having the problem with.  

2. Be aware

Try to define exactly where the problem areas are and where you clash. Being aware of their behaviour patterns can help you work out effective ways of dealing with them when they arise.  A degree of self-awareness will also help you work out what is triggering a reaction from you when they do or say certain things.

3. Stay calm

Manage your reaction.  Don’t get caught up in arguing, which will only escalate the problem. Staying calm means you stay in control. When you sense rising levels of frustration or anger, stop. Remove yourself if necessary and take time to breathe before going back to the problem. Keep focusing on facts or the task in front of you. Don’t get caught up with their emotion or your own.

4. Be assertive

Be assertive when necessary, stand your ground especially with aggressive people.  Assertiveness doesn’t mean raising your voice or being aggressive back. It means commanding respect for yourself and others.  Saying, ‘I don’t agree with you,’ is assertive. Saying ‘What a stupid idea!’ is aggressive and demeaning.  Communicate clearly and concisely, while being mindful of your tone of voice.

5. Develop empathy

We never know the full extent of what people are dealing with outside of work in other areas of their life. Get to know the person behind the role of ‘colleague’, maybe over a coffee or lunch outside the workplace. Try to see things from their point of view and what is prompting the behaviour.

A final thought


It’s worth noting that sometimes we define people as ‘difficult’ because they force us to face our own insecurities and flaws. We don’t have to like difficult people, but in learning to become a flexible, fair, problem solving, likeable colleague ourselves, means, we need them.

Keep in touch with me: 
Let me know how you're going with dealing with difficult people in your work place. You can comment on my Facebook page (follow me there too for more tips and articles about reducing stress and workplace communication topics) or on LinkedIn.
I run workshops in Melbourne, Australia for organisations on the topics of stress management, difficult conversations and communication skills. Contact me at lyn.stephe@gmail.com to enquire about workshops or coaching for workplaces to help reduce stress and improve teamwork.


Location: Melbourne VIC, Australia

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