4 Ways You Can Master The Two-Way Art of Listening

Listening is a two-way skill that you can develop

Do you struggle to get your point across with some of your colleagues? Do you sometimes feel disrespected because you haven’t been heard in meetings? 

Stephen Covey coined the phrase, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Everyone wants to be heard, but do we honestly take the time to listen to others first?
There are 4 essential listening skills which, if you genuinely cultivate in your workplace, will change the way people listen to you. 

Be present


Have you ever been speaking to someone and they are constantly looking around and not focused on you, or worse they are messaging while you are talking?  You are saying something that is quite important to you, but it’s lost. What does that feel like? It’s annoying, frustrating, and disrespectful.
When someone is speaking it’s important to be fully present. If something else is on your mind, or there’s an urgent call or email to attend to, let the other person know. Do what you need to do, then let them know you are ready to listen. 

Try putting yourself in their shoes


Whether you agree with what someone is saying or not, or even have an interest in what they have to say, what they are saying is important to them. 
It’s about making an effort to try and understand where they are coming from and why, and not using your own frame of reference.  We can’t assume we understand just because we might have had a similar experience. 

Pick up key points of the conversation


Sometimes we have trouble focusing on what someone is saying especially if they speak for longer than a minute or so. It’s easier to listen to some people than others.
Here’s a tip.  If you are struggling to pay attention. Try to pick up a few key points in the conversation. Let them know you heard by mentioning the key points and let them clarify anything that you didn’t understand. You will be forgiven for not following the whole conversation if the person believes you made an honest effort to listen. 

Develop an attitude of open curiosity.


People who are curious see conversations as learning opportunities, because they know they just might learn something new. It’s about being open to the idea that our way of seeing things may not be the only way, or necessarily the best way.  


Listen, listen, listen some more……..and then maybe say something.


Written by Lyn Stephenson:

Lyn is a counsellor specialising in stress management in Melbourne, Australia. She facilitates workshops for teams in various workplaces, organisations to help them manage stress, communicate well at an advanced level, manage difficult conversations and build great teams.

To receive updates and tips for managing stress, stay in touch with Lyn on Facebook, LinkedIn or sign up for her newsletter.


Location: Melbourne VIC, Australia

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